Sunday, July 17, 2011

Does it sound as though i might have bulimia?

Im 17, around 5ft 5, and right now i'd say im about 10 stone. I would class myself as fat, i hate my figure, always have. My relationship with food, is not very good at all. I love it too much, I just love eating, the amount of food I can consume is groas, its pretty ridiculous. I tend to eat alot when im worried, or sad. I dont eat that much when im happy. I look at my belly in the mirror hundreds of times a day, just to see if its bloated or not. Not a day goes by that i do not think of my weight, every time i put food to my lips, my weight is in mind. I do make myself throw up, easily a good few times a day, depending on what i've eaten (how much i've consumed ETC) & if i can find time alone to do so (which most of the time i do, if not i make time). I used to have to sit with my head over the toilet for a while, gagging to try and get it to come up. But now, all i have to do is gagg a little, and the food just comes spilling out, i can make myself sick easily, it just like a natural reflex now. Whenever i feel full,i feel that i want to be sick. I dont feel sickly or anything, but i feel food in the back of my throat, that i feel needs to come out. I was an overweight as a child, I went to weight watchers ETC, and followed one of there routines, and lost around about 7pounds, i then stopped following there routine and started to loose the weight by myself, i cant remember really how i did this but it worked. I cant pacifically remember when i started throwing up, i know i've been doing it on and off for about a year now, but i probably did it before them. I've always battled with my weight, I just love food too much, I cant just have one pack of crisps i have to have the whole bag, if theres left over food, i have to eat it, even if i feel like im about too pop, the thought of someone else eating it, is just ridiculous, i have to have it. But then i get over filled with guilt, and then throw it back up. I know if i didn't throw up, i would be obese, because the intake of food that i actually can consume is frightening. I love food so much, that i'll binge, throw up & then go back for more food & then throw up, i'll continue to do this, until there is no food left. I wouldn't consider myself a hardcore bulimic, Can anyone give me some advice, on what to do, and how to battle this? I need to loose weight, otherwise i'll continue this, i would like to get down to about 8stone!

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